Research question: How can I deconstruct aerial practice to dismantle gendered norms within circus aestethics? How can the aerial body resist patriarchal structures? How can the aerial body be reimagined through feminist strategies to challenge the notion historically, and of spectacle and control? In what ways can aerial practice serve as a site of resistance against patriarchal structures in performance art? How can aerial practice resist patriarchal structures through dramaturgical and embodied strategies in contemporary circus? How can feminist strategies be employed to deconstruct aerial practice and dismantle gendered norms embedded in circus aesthetics?   Aim: de-construct aerial practice to make space for what I call experimental circus. destroy patriarchal structures within aerial practice   Methods: aerial acrobatics, material research Field: aerial art , Circus arts, artistic practice: dissemination of aerial circus discipline artistic art works: Tanja Peinsip - Heck & Apparatus Johannes Mach - Press Aerial Drag - Stephanie Skreil theory: feminist reclaiming agency Medusa Laughing – claim space in writing - oppositional gaze -bell hooks performativity -butler hydrofeminism Foucault the technology of the self gap: within academic structures + social + legal, economical. circus + activism Urgency: personal: creating/claiming space for what I do- unconventional societal: circus + activism field: circus in academics, feminist aerial practice. activist, practical and personal approach to academic writing to claim the space

Dismantling aerial practice What if…aerial practice fell apart? SEAFOAM is an artistic research project that examines vulnerability and responsibility, through dramaturgical operations of audience engagement, intensification and destruction whilst dismantling the normative aesthetics of aerial practice. Dramaturgical operations and concepts and lineages Destroying material and deconstructing norms and Press By intentionally destroying  the equipment I hang from on stage, I deconstruct the norms of aerial practice, where perfection, control and virtuosity define the aesthetics, with its expectations of grace, gender and perfection (Tait, 2005, 4, 70). This dramaturgical operation of destruction was influenced by Johannes Mach´s act “ Press ” which I saw in January 2025 at Fontys University. In the performance Mach enters the stage and gives a red buzzer to an audience member. He then climbs onto a  trapeze, performs a few tricks and, by nodding to the audience member holding the buzzer, he encourages her to press it. When she does so, a string with a scissor attached lowers from above. Mach takes the scissors and cuts one of the trapeze strings, whilst sitting on it. This sequence repeats until all strings are “cut”, causing the trapeze to split in two and Mach to fall onto the mat.   Inspired by this act and wanting to use a quick release system (which make it look like the aerial equipment breaks whilst remaining safe) on my aerial plastic equipment, I contacted him for information about the system he uses. I tear the plastic strings below the Mini-Hoop and using the recommended sailor´s quick-release system I create the effect of destroying the very base (above the mini-hoop) of my aerial equipment without risking actual failure. Instead of free-falling like Mach whilst the equipment “breaks” but stays hanging, I decided to release only the plastic equipment and finish with the image of my free hanging body.   Audience engagement and Workshop I engage with the audience introducing plastic as a game; a multi-shaped material, and as a connector between me as a performer and the audience, and among audience members themselves, creating “dialogical aesthetics” (Grant Kester, 2004, 118). Mach also uses audience engagement each time he cuts off a piece of his trapeze string, creating the illusion of audience responsibility through the buzzer. In reality, he subtly encourages the audience member to activate it. The audience engagement in SEAFOAM started during the pre-research and creation process in a Workshop I led at the Zirkus Zeit residency at TRAP. What the participants shared after a free writing exercise and the guided movement exploration with plastic not only informed my research but also became part of the performance – through voice recordings, interactions and movement. Some workshop contributions that influences the performance include: the desire to touch and engage with plastic, the sounds it produces, its interconnectivity, its toxicity and associations with jellyfish and toxic storytelling. Responsibility and dismantling conventions  and vulnerability The audience engagement during the performance is essential for the creation of the stage net design. At the same time, it questions responsibilities and compliance by giving them partial control over the aerial equipment, again dismantling aerial conventions . The audience becomes both potential threats and protectors, mirroring the complexities of our society. Even though audience members are free to act, their actions have consequences, as freedom is entangled with vulnerability  (Butler, 2015, 22). I am free to use and destroy a lot of plastic, but I do all that with responsiblity: The plastic I use is mostly recycled, and what I cannot reuse for the next performances I collect to create or document through these pieces. Intensification and tension building Thorughout the performance I intensify and build tension to increase the level of vulnerability. I start the performance lying on the ground in a light atmosphere, smiling and playing with the audience. Gradually the intensity of the games, tension and spatial level rise, up to the point of rupture. Each aerial acrobatics act puts the body of the artist under tension and at risk. I remember clearly why I started to fall in love with aerial acrobatics: it was the adrenaline that kicked in, when learning a new trick or when climbing higher than the day before. Now I must actively seek that adrenaline kick, but that does not minimize the real risk. In fact, the more skilled and advanced I got, the less I perceived risks and the more impactful the injuries could be. I must acknowledge that as an aerialist, I put my body in a vulnerable space, often risking my life. In SEAFOAM not only do I perform aerials, but I also give my audience partial control over the level of risk they put me in. Placing one´s life at risk might be the most vulnerable thing a human being can do to their body .  In circus, specifically in aerial practice, this is controlled risk; in performance it becomes edgework. I do not want to simply increase danger, tension and intensity, but rather allow the audience to feel and control parts of the risk - to experience the consequences and responsibilities of actions. “Edgework is about performance and the fine line between being out of control and harnessing excitement in life and death contexts" (Walby & Stuard, 2021). Cut piece   and Rhythm 0 Numerous artists are working with intensification; Yoko Ono in “ Cut Piece ” (1965) invites the audience to destroy her clothes or Marina Abramovic´s work " Rhythm 0 "(1974) , a durational performance with written instructions peaking in the moment an audience member holds a loaded gun to her head. Abramovic puts a well-known weapon on the table, so the stakes are clear. In SEAFOAM the audience is instructed non-verbally through the initial games, and the consequences are explored collectively. Through these games and audience engagement I create space for collective responsibilities . Compared to these iconic performances I choose an active role whereas Abramovic and Ono stay passive, Abramovic even states “I am the object”. During my research and creation process I explored a more passive role, but I ultimately chose to introduce my audience actively to the stakes of plastic materiality and its impact on the aerial body, whilst I lead the rhythm to allow space for intensification. Narration and Three Times Left Is Right Through recorded voice I also create changes in rhythm and structure, leaving space for breath-holding, and intensifying through silence. The narration is deconstructed through fragmentation and layering of language, whilst my agency and live voice are reclaimed. I was inspired to use fragmented narrative by the theater-performance “ Three times left is right ” (2025) by Julian Hetzel which I saw at Wiener Festwochen. It starts with a screen and recorded voice stating “This performance contains...” follwed by 15 minutes of keywords that partially contradict themselves. Inspired by this operation including name dropping, fragmented language and associative thinking, I begin my performance with “Once upon a time there was…” introducing Medusa , the myth and the animal, the Little Mermaid and my own story. When I was raped I lost my voice, literally and systemically, like Medusa, like the Mermaid. Through this performance I deconstruct the notion of vulnerability as a survivor of rape by reclaiming my voice. By deconstructing language and meaning, I leave space for audience interpretation, while keeping an emotional distance from my own story.   Vulnerability In SEAFOAM I explore what it is like to destroy equipment, to resist obeying norms, how collectively we can build and dismantle structures and how Medusa is not only an animal or a story but the vessel to my own reclaiming. I put myself in a vulnerable position on several levels. It goes without saying that vulnerability is not only physical risk but also the risk of not being understood, of exposing one´s artworks and of being graded on research. Dramaturgical operations and concepts  and lineages by Amina Riccetti

How can I dissolve gender norms in Aerial Practices? AIM: Dissolving myths around feminity to reclaim physical space and challenge normative narratives around gender Objectives: 1. Explore the dissolution of aerial plastic, mythical (medusa) narrative and edible material (cotton candy) in public space as feminist resistance (residency Zirkuszeit Showing 5.6.) 2. Explore drag creature and monster (Medusa) with costume- elements of edible material (dough, fruits, gum,…) 3. explore site responsive / site specific and interactive/participatory elements on the grounds of TRAP circus centre 4. Literature and theory to feed my practice. Practice to feed my thesis. (((5. develop a feminist framework of digesting myths  through physical + material practices)))   Field: intersection of feminist performance art, circus, environmental artivism, sensorial research. Performance + gender studies, (critical materialism) food studies, mythological re-narration. 3 theories: performativity - Butler technology of self – Foucault political body circus – Lindsay alimentary performance - Hunt   3 artistic: Medusa statue Tiamat painting Drag king Urgency: ecological collapse, systemic gender- based violence – this research seeks to re-consider our relation to materials, our bodies and the environment, unlearning toxic myths, proposing alternatives, poetic strategies for reclaim, care and resistance. Contribution: new dialogues between food, feminist resistance and territorial agency through “material dissolution” as aesthetic, performative and activist act. Methods: -          Practice as Research (aerial practice, Food research) -          Journaling+ blogging -          Literature review (myths, food, performance, gender, circus, aerial)     Ethical implications: -          waste production through plastic use -          food waste, though material use -          trigger warnings – re-traumatisation,…   How is aerial art, food and feminism connected and what research can I develop from this? Through my tutorial, the first presentation and feedback session I was confirmed of the idea that I have to deepen the connection point and make more explicit what I already found. I am exploring my body through the intersection of food´s materiality and aerial/ practice, restisting gendernorms. How is my body: female + androgynous. white, abled, lean. What does that mean to the research? How can I amplify aspects through the use of edible material and movement to criticise gendernorms? AIM: 1.      converge food and feminism 2.      investigate how aerial dance engages with, challenges or reinforces gender norms and representations 3.      build my technical skills in aerial dance and food elaboration. OBJECTIVES: 1.      Examine relevant literature for food and feminism 2.      Explore aerial art and gender representations 3.      Build a framework to connect aerial art and food through feminism METHODS: PaR Impro + choreographic scores Literature review Collective cooking   Question: How can I deconstruct the technologies of aerial dance and food preparation to challenge gender norms?   Why? Because that’s who I am, trained in this technologies + practices pastry + aerial arts + feminist, formed also outside, personal idiosyncratic.  Formed me also outside this technologies gap: methodology that intersects the political, sensorial and theoretical through embodied practice. Aerial art and food as genderes technologies not explored together.   theory: feminist reclaiming agency feminist aerial works? Elias canetti – Masse und Macht (power of food- mother) gender performativity -butler artistic: womb of fire Womb of Fire at the Playhouse in Durban medusa´s statue Luciano Garbati Drag creature https://www.jadervision.com/ (Tiamat goddess, Thunder Perfect Mind)   Urgency: personal: my practices as an aerialist and pastry chef as an AFAB body social: field: interdisciplinary approach

How is aerial art, food and feminism connected and what research can I develop from this? Through my tutorial, the first presentation and feedback session I was confirmed of the idea that I have to deepen the connection point and make more explicit what I already found. I am exploring my body through the intersection of food´s materiality and aerial/ practice, restisting gendernorms. How is my body: female + androgynous. white, abled, lean. What does that mean to the research? How can I amplify aspects through the use of edible material and movement to criticise gendernorms? AIM: 1.      converge food and feminism 2.      investigate how aerial dance engages with, challenges or reinforces gender norms and representations 3.      build my technical skills in aerial dance and food elaboration. OBJECTIVES: 1.      Examine relevant literature for food and feminism 2.      Explore aerial art and gender representations 3.      Build a framework to connect aerial art and food through feminism METHODS: PaR Impro + choreographic scores Literature review Collective cooking   Question: How can I deconstruct the technologies of aerial dance and food preparation to challenge gender norms?   Why? Because that’s who I am, trained in this technologies + practices pastry + aerial arts + feminist, formed also outside, personal idiosyncratic.  Formed me also outside this technologies gap: methodology that intersects the political, sensorial and theoretical through embodied practice. Aerial art and food as genderes technologies not explored together.   theory: feminist reclaiming agency feminist aerial works? Elias canetti – Masse und Macht (power of food- mother) gender performativity -butler artistic: womb of fire Womb of Fire at the Playhouse in Durban medusa´s statue Luciano Garbati Drag creature https://www.jadervision.com/ (Tiamat goddess, Thunder Perfect Mind)   Urgency: personal: my practices as an aerialist and pastry chef as an AFAB body social: field: interdisciplinary approach

An ocean of plastic An ocean of plastic Ein Meer aus Plastik Kleine Wellen im Wasser Der Wind bläst Il mare si agita Le onde ti coprono Sei immersa nell´acqua You feel that silky material on your face It´s mesmerising  But it is still An ocean of plastic Kleine Wellen im Körper Du trinkst Wasser Il corpo si agita Sei immersa di plastica You eat that artificial material every day It´s delicious It is An ocean of plastic

research question: How can the reclaiming of space (in academic writing, physical space, voicing, food) function as an artivist tool for collective healing? with edible materials? MATERIALITY where? Field: context/environment: Academia, Circus arts, feminist lens artistic practice: dissemination of aerial circus discipline artistic art works: Berni Searle "Snow White" - performance Franca Rame "Stupro" - Monologue Luciano Garbati "Medusa" - sculpture movie jew hair cut theory: feminist reclaiming agency territorial healing - ortiz oppositional gaze -bell hooks performativity -butler gap: within academic structures + social + legal, circus + activism Urgency: personal: my experience with rape, therapy, victim-blaming, female identity societal: one out of three women experience violence, shame, victim blaming, open discourse and better legal systems SMASH THE PATRIARCHY field: activist, practical and personal approach to academic writing AIM: Reclaim space, physically, in academic writing and food through artivism. OBJECTIVES: 1.      conduct comprehensive research on theoretical and artivist approaches reclaiming space   Method: literature review + archival research 2.      Identify key elements of reclaiming space through feminist artivism Cultural mapping+   practice as research  what are the practices (aerial acro) 3.      Asses the effects of reclaiming space on the self Autoethnography + reflexive journaling 4.      Examine choreographic scores (aerial) and phenomenology (food) ETHICS: personal care, legal requirements, trigger warnings, reclaim of agency

(c) Doris Neuhauser - Photo of swinging aerial Medusa As part of the elective module “ Trust in Change: On world politics- overcoming structural political boundaries by thinking with the body ” led by VestAndPage at HOME OF PERFORMANCE PRACTICES, this blog critically reflects my own practice as a circus artist and activist through the use of Medusa as a method of embodyment, resistance, and survival. The lecture introduced global political questions like capitalism, colonialism, and biopolitics, and challenged us to think about oppression through our performative and personal practices. This led me to re-think, and elaborate a fraction of our performance BEATCH N CANDY [1]   in which we use plastic as an aerial apparatus, that tears whilst climbing it, and which we call ‘ Medusa ’ [2] . The name was chosen due to my first visual interpretation of a jellyfish (Italian: medusa). Then the symbolic and aesthetic links to the mythological figure, and the feminist concept it questions, became a central influence in exploring the creation process from a political perspective. My personal experience  with rape and victim blaming, bonds me to Medusa´s story and motivated me to dive deeper into the political importance and feminist reflections regarding my artistic choices. In BEATCH N CANDY, I choose to stay vague in order to reach a vast audience without explicitly discussing gender-based violence. Here, I want to use Medusa explicitly to push my practice in writing and performing further. Through my research, I expand political questions on artistic practice, integrating these elements to transform acrobatic movements into political themes. I discover not only the symbolic meanings and images that can be created through my body [3] ,  but also the meanings of the fight and the play with, of, as, next to Medusa. In this blog, I will focus on Ovid´s version of the myth, discuss various feminist approaches like Jude Ellison Sady Doyle, Hélène Cixous, Lizzie Skurnick, Mary Beard, Alma Ali, and my artistic interpretation of Medusa within experimental circus performance. In a further development [4] of BEATCH N CANDY Medusa [5] stands for resistance, transformation, and the environmental crisis [6]  informing my experimentation with gaze and disintegration. (c) Dalila Riccetti - video cut of BEATCH N CANDY First, I would like to recap the most famous version of Medusa´s myth by the Roman poet Ovid in Metamorphoses [7] : Medusa, one of the three Gorgon sisters, is the only one who is mortal. She is a beautiful virgin that Poseidon rapes in Athenas´s sacred temple. Out of jealousy, Athena punishes Medusa instead of the perpetrator by cursing her to petrify anyone who looks at her and condemns her to have snakes instead of her beautiful hair. Later, Perseus beheads Medusa in her sleep with the help of a reflective shield to avoid directly looking at her. Even after death, her head still has the power of the deadly gaze and is used as a weapon placed on Athena´s armour. Obviously, “the mythological tale is a patriarchal horror story. A sexual assault victim turned serpent monster” [8] . Medusa is a double victim; she is a survivor of rape [9]  blamed and punished for the violence that was done to her. In myths and tales, the transformation from a victim to a monster is not unique: women who do not obey, who transgress, or simply survive patriarchal violence are often depicted as witches, monsters , and other dangerous creatures. Jude Ellison Sady Doyle, an American feminist author, in her book “Dead Blondes and Bad Mothers: Monstrosity, Patriarchy, and the Fear of Female Power” (2019) explains that in a patriarchal society built for men, the feminine is always depicted as monstrous: Because it deviates from the male norm, and because it is a danger to the very existence of patriarchy. Women are not recognised as human beings but are potentially dangerous monsters that must always be controlled. Men´s obsession with control comes from the fear that women can break free and refuse to obey. So, as men created patriarchy, they also created monsters; distorted powerful beings with desires and sexuality, whose place must be outside society, like the primordial female body that takes and gives life at will [10] . The terror of such power has produced an infinite number of monstrous images of women: women who instead of vaginas have teeth [11] , wounded open women, the deadly gaze and serpent hair (Doyle, 2019). Nowadays, the myth of Medusa is used “to raise questions about violence and discrimination against women” (Ali, 2024, p. 1). But words like “witch”, “slut” or “monster” that people use to call non-normative women are not only a discrimination, they are not even the punishment for being different, they are the “ justification  for the punishment”(Skurnick, 2020, p. 115). Society does not punish women because they are monstrous – society labels them as such to justify punishing us, shifting the responsibility from the perpetrator to the survivor herself and rationalising abuse, silencing, and exclusion as necessary or protective actions. (c) Martina Burchini - serpent/tentacle hair Medusa takes back the power and femininity, returning the gaze to those who try to control, judge, or objectify women. The deadly gaze reminds me of the discomfort and following rage that I often feel when being objectified, observed, commented on, reduced to my appearance and sexualised without consent. In those moments, I wish to have Medusa´s power to petrify. This recognition shifted my view on Medusa´s struggle to see her potential for transformation and empowerment . As bell hooks reminds us “there is power in looking” (2015, p. 115). From a black feminist perspective, the oppositional gaze is a tool for reclaiming agency. This inspires me to expand the performance further and to explore how the gaze can become a weapon and a refusal. In this spirit of resistance, I shaved my head bald. I become a female bald monster. I am a monster. I am Medusa. I am the survivor and I am the blamed. But I am also the laughing monster. I reclaim my gaze. I reclaim my power. I reclaim my body. I am Medusa. I explore what it is like to live in a female body that resists obeying the norm [12]  and how Medusa is not only an aerial equipment, a performances or a story but a method. A method that is reflected by the fragi lity of the m aterial that I use in the aerial equipment and that stands for the structural breakdown of patriarchal systems. The instability is intentionally reflected in the openness to interpretation of the audience within the performance to understand or simply enjoy the visual effects and circus acrobatics whilst I unpack the feminist reflection through writing in this blog. I see this dual communication as part of my practice: sensorial performance and reflective writing. Finally, I cannot discuss Medusa and feminist resistance without referencing Hélène Cixous, French philosopher and writer , who in her essay “The Laugh of the Medusa” (1976) urges women to take up space in writing and their bodies, to never be silenced and erased. She claims that Medusa is a misunderstood figure of female power. “You only have to look at the Medusa straight on to see her. And she's not deadly. She's beautiful and she's laughing” (Cixous, 1976, p. 885). Inspired by this perspective, I reclaim my space and agency through this writing. I deepen my understanding of Medusa as a myth and recognise her as a methodology. This engagement across theory, body and practice allows me to expand conversations between art, politics and circus. The political urgency of (academic) writing about, for, next to, before, and after performances once more becomes crystal clear. This way, writing can become activism. I continue to read and embody the mythical figure of Medusa, moving between my own experience, myth, and aesthetic choices to open a deep discussion of transformation, survival, and resistance. Medusa is no longer just a circus equipment or a character: she becomes a method. A method to write and to move. A method to resist. A method of survival. (c) Mor Barak @indiemotion - Medusa Solo Act [1]  BEATCH N CANDY is an experimental circus performance, that premiered on 21.03.2025 in Vienna, thanks to the funding of the Federal Ministry Republic of Austria Arts, Culture, Civil Service and Sport. BEATCH N CANDY | Amina Riccetti [2]  Using a Mini-Aerial-Hoop as an upper base and putting recycled plastic bands on it, this prop functions like a multicord. During the material research phase, I tried different ways to hang the plastic tentacles off the hoop and tested the breaking loads and points of the material. [3]  I am a white, European, abled, female identifying person wearing a nude costume and having a bald shaved head in this performance. [4] In a two weeks residency at Trap Zirkus Zeit at the end of May 2025 I will dive into the disintegration of materiality, beauty and the development of rage throu the gaze focusing on Medusa as a method to create a performance called "Seafoam". [5]  Even today, the image of Medusa's beheading serves as a powerful cultural metaphor for the suppression of female power (Beard, 2022). Angela Merkel and Hillary Clinton have been repeatedly depicted with their faces in Caravaggio´s painting of Medusa or Cellini´s statue. Clinton´s depictions as Medusa have been sold as T-shirts, coffee mugs, bags, and more, changing the original “Triumph” into “Trump”. It is alarming to see this normalisation of gender-based violence and the exclusion of women from power, justified by myths. But it may serve as a reminder of how much feminist work, we still need to do globally. At the same time, these reinterpretations risk becoming a trend (view Versace Logo) rather than addressing “intersectional aspects of gender, race, class and sexuality that shape women´s experiences”(Ali, 2024, p. 9). For an examination of the interpretations of Medusa in art and literature, tracing her transformation from a dreaded monster to feminist empowerment check: "The Medusa Myth Through Time: Monster to Feminist Symbol," The Medusa Myth Through Time: Monster to Feminist Symbol – By: Alexis Plumaj   [6]  The use of plastic for the tentacles/serpents of our aerial Medusa questions our environmental responsibilities, consumerism, and degradation, which opens a vast other component that I will leave for another blog entry. [7]  In Ovid´s version, the Roman gods Neptune and Minerva replace Poseidon and Athena, though I will use the Greek names for consistency. Earlier versions of Medusa depicted her as a protective symbol warding off evil and threats. Ovid adapted the original Greek myth, reducing her to a head only at the end, echoing her earliest representations. Further, in Ovid´s retelling, Medusa´s story is not presented by herself but from the perspective of Perseus.   https://ovid.lib.virginia.edu/trans/Metamorph4.htm [8]   https://www.boshemiamagazine.com/blog/the-face-of-our-own-rage-medusa  accessed 28.03.2025 [9]  I use the term survivor of rape instead of victim of rape referring to my own experience and the essay of Kate Harding in Pretty Bitches (Skurnick, 2020, pp. 90–102). [10]   Queering the Creation Story: Painting Tiamat/Tehom - Believe Out Loud The myth of the primordial goddess Tiamat is highly influential for the developing performance LAMORROSS. La Mor Ross (@lamorross) • Instagram-Fotos und -Videos [11]  Vagina dentata myths exist around the world: Vagina Dentata Myths From Around the World . In India the myth has numerous variations (Elwin, 1943) and Washingtonpost (2014) even explained rape cult through it. How the mythical ‘toothed vagina’ helps explain India’s rape culture - The Washington Post [12]   Beatch N Candy - Medusa Solo, Amina Riccetti . In the solo act Medusa, that I performed on 06.04.2024 in Kristallwerk, Graz, AT, I still used a bald wig. Only on the 15th of March 2025 I found the courage to really shave my head completely bald. It was a two weeks process and I will go into details about my choice to shave, the meaning of (body)hair and beauty in another blog entry.  REFERENCES Ali, A., 2024. Medusa’s Evolution: From Mythological Monster to Feminist Icon – A Reflection of Shifting Societal Narratives? Int. J. Multidiscip. Res. 6, 28089. https://doi.org/10.36948/ijfmr.2024.v06i05.28089 Beard, M., 2022. Frauen & Macht: Ein Manifest, Fischer Taschenbibliothek. FISCHER Taschenbuch, Frankfurt am Main. Cixous, H., 1976. Journal of Women in Culture and Society. Laugh Medusa, Translated by Keith Cohen and Paula Cohen 1, 875–893. Doyle, S., 2019. Dead blondes and bad mothers: monstrosity, patriarchy, and the fear of female power, First Edition. ed. Melville House, Brooklyn. Elwin, V., 1943. THE VAGINA DENTATA LEGEND. Br. J. Med. Psychol. 19, 439–453. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.2044-8341.1943.tb00338.x hooks,  bell, 2015. Black looks: race and representation. Routledge, New York. Skurnick, L. (Ed.), 2020. Pretty bitches: on being called crazy, angry, bossy, frumpy, feisty, and all the other words that are used to undermine women, First edition. ed. Seal, New York.

What are you ashamed of? When did you feel the most vulnerable? What is intimacy to you? What do you see when you look at this body? Is it mine or yours? What does your gaze to the body? What does consent mean to you when silence is the only response? If you could act without consequences, what would you do? What do you feel? Do you feel empathy, or guilt? When does observing become participating? Are you complicit in the systems you criticize? How? What are your limits for vulnerability? Are they the same for others? What makes you uncomfortable right now: the body, the questions, or your own thoughts? When did you last act against injustice, rather than just witnessing it? What is your role in challenging injustice? I lay down and represent not only my story, but that of one in three women worldwide, that experience physical or psychological violence from age 16 (WHO). I lay down to scream that it is the loving father, the cool brother, the best friend, the nice colleague, the loved husband and the handsome boyfriend that rape. LET´S CHAT is an invitation to reflect on one owns behaviour, to ask your neighbour if she is ok, to go out of this performance and open the conversation of complicity to the system with the person next to you, to speak up when something does not seem right, to go out on the streets and demonstrate, to apologize for one´s mistakes, to claim agency, to share secrets and be vulnerable, to get empowered by intimacy, to find communities and to take responsibility for one´s actions and non-actions!

Yesterday I tried my first drag king experience. I wanted to try drag for a while and my beach bitch character is a bit drag queen. Being inspired by friends and collegues around me I was curious to try King. So after readying queer essays and papers for university, I decided that my homework (to reacord a queer-self-portrait video) would be me doing king and going for a walk outside. I watched some youtube videos on how to to drag king make-up and imporovised with the make-up I had available at home. I was surprised how good the make-up worked although it was my first time trying drag. Amino Acid - King of Vitality I borrowed a jeans jacket of my partner and wore the baggiest jeans I have. Headphones and when the moment to go out arrived I got really nervous and anxious. I was afraid of the reactions, I was afraid of violence! I was aware that people will still frame me as a woman, I was aware that eventhough I would embody stereotypical menly behaviour, people wont accept nor respect me. First I did not encounter anyone on the streets. Then I passed some busy persons that did not even look at me. Later people starred at me. Then I passed a group of young women, in their 20s; as soon as I passed they laught and said: "What is this!?" I also encountered a collegue that (pretended?) not to recognise me. The only positive reaction was a girl of colour (in the aerea I live in unfortunately cultural and ethnic diversity is not very common) smiling at me very warmly. Other kids and teens passed me and there was either no or negative comments. Two young men passed by. One did noot see me, the other starred and when they passed me he started to complain about "how disgusting people nowadays are". As a female identifying and labeled person, I usually dress (and rarely) wear feminin make-up. I am constantly aware of the male gaze and potential risky situations. Now the experience of dressing and having make-up like a man (I did not even behave much like one as I was alone and too afraid to get assaulted) made me feel even more vulnerable and definately raised my awareness for marginalised groups and safety issues in an apparently safe city like Vienna! I was left with more questions than answers: Is this already drag king? When does it become so? How safe is this city/aerea? What do people think? How do they label me? Is my fear reasonless? How can I challenge society whilst staying safe? How can I connect marginalised groups? How can education in schools help respectful and non violent societies? How can I contribute?

I don't know you You fascinate me I touch you You are soft I like it when my fingers Caress your inner skin You have a firm stance I don't move you I touch you again My skin caresses your Your inside We are very intimate But I don't speak your language Can I touch you? You stand there so firm Firm in the ground And take in all the sun I watch Your whole body You are small, firm And yet very soft I touch your body You are firm And yet so fragile You are firm And yet so tender I touch you But leave you there Where you are at home I caress you And say goodbye to you again. DE Ich kenn´dich nicht Du faszinierst mich Ich berühre dich Du bist weich Ich mag es, wenn meine Finger Über deine innere Haut streicheln Du hast einen festen Stand Ich bewege dich nicht   Ich berühre dich wieder Meine Haut streichelt über Deine Innere Wir sind sehr intim Aber ich spreche nicht deine Sprache Darf ich dich berühren? Du stehst dort so fest Fest im Boden Und nimmst die ganze Sonne in dich auf Ich beobachte Deinen ganzen Körper Du bist klein, fest Und doch ganz weich   Ich berühre deinen Körper Du bist fest Und doch so zerbrechlich Du bist fest Und doch so zart   Ich berühre dich Aber lasse dich dort Wo du zuhause bist Ich streichle dich Und verabschiede mich wieder von dir.

In the archive of Performance Art I found Deborah Esmeades work "Lucy and the Beast" from 1995, NY. Interpreting and embodying her work made me question bodily restrictions that I am not used to and challenged my insecurity of speaking on stage. During the contextual research I discovered a horrific case of child abuse, where the girl, named Elisa, was killed by her mother just 3 days before Deborah´s performance. The media refered to Elisa´s case as the Cindarella case. I cannot know if Deborah meant to refer to Elisa´s case but in the performance there is a part refering to Cindarella. It combines various tales, self, persona and character, and fictional-historic stories under the structural and thematic umbrella of the Little Mermaid. Dealing with chronic pain since over 1,5 years I feel connected and inspired by the original version of the Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen.

Lydia, 56, italian, rich, dyed blond, plastic surgery (boobs, lips, lifing) Loves Raffaella Carrà and calamari fritti. was married twice. No kids, had a dog once, now loves cats. Can predict the future and read minds. Lydia was born in a small town in the south of Italiy in 1986 and married her first love when she was 19 years old. They were married 10 years before they got divorced and Lydia was left with a great amount of money. She bought a house in Milan and got married and divorced again within 2 years. She has a passion for fashion and beauty and she counts 240K followers on instagram.